Oh, wow.

So, I have this pair of red shoes. There's no place like home, click your heels together kind of red shoes. I love them so much, even though I bought them at Payless a few years ago and never thought I would actually wear them. Now, I wear them almost everyday to work and have done so for the past 8 months at least, which of course has caused them to wear out. Does that stop me from wearing them? Oh, no. The heel of one of the shoes is no longer sewn together. It's mostly held in place by the lining which is falling out of the gaping heel hole; but every morning without fail, I choose the red ones over any other shoes that I own. I really don't have much to choose from, but I just love my red shoes. I've known they were dying for quite a while, and I've honestly been trying to replace them, but of course, Payless doesn't have that same style and you can't find a pair of red shoes just anywhere. I mean, look at Dorothy. She had to follow the yellow brick road, find courage for the cowardly lion, and deal with "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!" Not necessarily the easiest of tasks. Oh, and let's face it, I'm lazy; if I had to do all of that for a pair of shoes, I'd rather go barefoot.


So, Monday, I'm sitting at my desk at work, bored, sleepy, not mentally prepared or alert enough to handle all that a Monday at Walmart implies, hesitant to start on a project for fear of interruption, when I see my stapler in my desk drawer...and I think of how my shoe is coming apart...and how I don't really sew all that well...and they're only from Payless so it's a miracle they've lasted as long as they have...and I wonder...could my stapler? my shoes? Don't tell my boss, but I did it. This has to be the single most white-trash moment of my life, an all-consuming, life-time low for me. I totally stapled my shoe. The part of the heel that was coming apart? Well, it's not really coming apart anymore. That's good, right? Still, you'd think that I could at least afford a new pair of shoes. But no, I'm broke, afraid of commitment, and not just any pair of red shoes will do. I figure it will take me at least a year to find a suitable replacement. So, until that time, stapled they will be. First my pirate pants, and now this? I don't know how much more I can take. I guess I'll find out when it happens.